Attention Parents – Is your behaviour setting your child up for failure?
Recently in our Monday Motivation email, I wrote about how a change of mindset turned @ashbarty from a good tennis player to the world’s best.
In years gone by, Barty felt like she was defined by her performances on the tennis court, which created a lot of baggage.
“Playing tennis is what Ash does but it’s not who she is and doesn’t define the depths of her.” Crowe said.
She went from being Ash Barty the tennis player to Ash Barty who plays tennis and also loves being an aunty, footy, cricket & much more.
A small change in language. A huge change in mindset.
Why is this relevant for parents?
Your behaviour as a parent can support or ruin your child’s career 👀
Children crave the love and acceptance of their parents more than anyone in the world.
How you react to your child’s success & failure has a major and lasting impact on how they feel about themselves.
Take a look at one of our net sessions…
It’s natural for any parent to be happy and excited when their child does well. Especially when they have put a lot of time & effort into their craft.
However, if you give your child more love and attention when they do well, they can begin to associate their value as a person with being successful, which has a detrimental impact on how they approach their sport.
Having your identity and value as a person is tied up with your success (as Barty used to) creates extra pressure and expectation. This brings negative thoughts, feelings & emotions which generally holds people back from performing at their best.
Make your child feel unconditionally loved no matter how they perform.
Do your best to react as consistently as you can, regardless if they win, lose, play well or have a shocker.
Stop trying to be their coach.
So many children quit sport because of the car ride home with over-eager (yet well-intentioned) parents.
As Crowe says, the best thing any parent can say to their child after playing, regardless of how they go is, “I love to watch you play.”